The L Word

I've already posted five times and still haven't yet talked about where my name came from. So briefly, this is a little bit of the thought process that went with it. 

I prefer to be called a dyke over a lesbian. I know most people hate the word dyke because it’s offensive and blah blah, but I prefer it. I will only ever call myself a lesbian in a scenario in which I think that’s the easier word-choice, and I don’t self-identify that way.

Here’s the thing. I like boys.

This guy? Ooh baby. I could stare at him all day long. He’s a Japanese singer and he makes me all sorts of gooey. He’s got this gorgeous song called “girls, be ambitious” and I’m just like, never stop singing to me please. Now, I know he’s really androgynous. So maybe that doesn’t lose me my gold gay star. But I also get pretty hot for, say… Ryan Reynolds.

Oh Ryan. You’re so yummy. I like your smile. Not the fake one you show to the cameras but the real one where all your teeth are showing and people realize you have an awful cross-bite. Look at him! He’s adorable.

And this is why I don’t like being called a lesbian. I’m not one. Let’s be honest with ourselves. No one is 100% gay or straight and I’m definitely not because I’ve totally had some pretty raunchy dreams starring men. And for years, I would write off little boy crushes by saying, well no one is 100%. But I’m kind of sick of that. Everyone invisibilizes bisexuals. Gays and straights alike, and now gender queers because ‘bi conforms to the gender binary and therefore you should be using the term pan.’ The problem that I have with the term pan is a) no one knows what it is and b) it implies an equal attraction to every gender type across the board and that is also not me. I still have a preference to those who present femme because my first love is women. Don’t even get me started on women.

Whoops how’d that get there? What was I saying? Oh yeah…. Women… yeeeeaaaah… *cough* I mean.

But regardless, I’m still a dyke. Because dyke isn’t just about the fact that you are a woman who likes other women. A dyke is a type of woman. She’s got a bigger body set, and probably shorter hair, and definitely knows how to hold her own, and isn’t afraid of saying slightly misogynistic things about women, because she just loves the female form that much. A dyke is a gender presentation and a preference for women. So that’s why I like the term dyke more. Because I can like boys and still be a dyke. Dyke isn't just about the fact that I sleep with women. It's the gender identity that comes with it. Granted, it's still female, but it's not a feminine female. I would argue that a dyke isn't quite butch enough to be called butch either though. A stone butch is a type of dyke, but there's more dykes than that. 

And to all those people who don't like the term dyke, I'm sorry. But unfortunately you can't please everyone.